Founder of Bathtisma Talks About Mental Health on the Tamron Hall Show

We are all qualified to talk about mental health

Yesterday, shortly after I announced to my friends, family, and colleagues that I would be joining the Tamron Hall Show to talk about mental health, I was approached to a colleague and asked:

“What makes you qualified to talk about mental health?” I paused for a moment and then answered. “I’m not. But I am qualified to talk about my own mental health”.

As I flew cross-country to New York, it hit me.

We are all qualified to talk about mental health.

Tomorrow I’ll be joining a panel of people who will be sharing their personal mental health stories on live national television. I think that is a healthy sign of the times! My point of view is that mental health discussions shouldn’t just be had by qualified mental health professionals. They should be had with our families, friends, and neighbors. It’s the only way to reach more people, particularly those who are not yet brave enough to tell anyone what they are going through. There is an opportunity to start the conversation even before a mental health professional is involved. By normalizing mental health discussions and speaking openly about how to recognize the signs of mental health distress, more people might get the support, tools, and resources they need.

Ending the Silence

In a story written for the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA), I shared that I have struggled with anxiety and depression my entire life. In that story, I wrote about how, in the wake of starting Bathtisma (a lifestyle and e-commerce brand in health and wellness), I was catapulted into a deep depression, like nothing I had ever experienced before. It was the only time in my life that I was truly “checked out” and unable to deal with the day-to-day of life.

At the time I was second-guessing my risky career move and my confidence was low. I was out of “positive vibes”. I had experienced a major change to my identity, moving out of my career and role as the primary breadwinner for our family and leaning into a role that required me to lean more on my partner (financially and emotionally). I was worried about finances and was feeling the pressure to make my little startup profitable.

I was overwhelmed by anxiety and fear that if anyone knew that I was struggling, I would lose credibility and I'd become a "fraud" who SAYS she found inner peace, but really hadn't.

Soon I was barely dragging myself out of bed, and some days, only to take my son to school and pick him back up later that day. I was unmotivated and feeling lost. My husband was traveling, so I was on my own and taking care of our son by myself. I was having uncontrollable crying episodes while sitting on my sofa, in spite of trying to "keep it all together" and hide my depression from my young son, close family, and friends.

But my family was seeing the cracks. My then 9-year-old son was beginning to ask me why I was so sad. “What is wrong Mommy?” He only took my answer standard answer of "I'm just sad, but I'm ok", for so long. He was worried. Then the tipping point came when he asked me if he had done something to make me sad. He wanted to understand.

Even a 9-year-old can be qualified to talk about mental health

His question shook me to my core. I was horrified that he was witnessing the burden of adult issues and concerns, and that he would think he had something to do with my unhappiness. I assured him "of course not! it’s not you, it’s me" (or something like that). Then I remembered back to when I was a teen and struggling with depression. I frequently had thoughts of suicide, but luckily never acted on it. No one knew. No one noticed. I felt like no one cared.

Then, the conversation with my son opened up. I wanted to make sure my son was qualified. Qualified to talk about mental health, equipped to help someone else, or reach out for help if HE ever needed it. We began to have a straight-forward conversation about depression. I told him that some people are sad and don't know why. And some people might know why, but they don't know how to stop being sad. I also told him:

the best thing he did was ask me if I was ok.

We talked some more. I talked to him about my feelings (no, not all the intricacies of adult problems and issues, I didn’t burden him with that) but I did speak to him person to person. I showed him that it is ok to be vulnerable. We talked about what he can do if he ever feels like he is in the same situation. If he is ever sad, he can always talk to Me or Daddy, or anyone else, like a teacher or a friend. I told him that he has people in his life that love him, care about him, and want to help him, if he ever needs it. I told him that he never needs to feel alone. Because he is not alone.

I guess the point of the story is that yes, it IS up to qualified mental health professionals to diagnose mental health disorders and to treat those who are suffering. But it is up to me, and to all of us, as parents, friends, family members, and colleagues to be comfortable enough to talk about it. We can all find our own path to good mental health and inner peace with the right support system and tools. Together, we can #breakthestigma - Even if you are only 9.

Everyday Women Get Real About Mental Health & Battles with Depression

Special thanks to the Tamron Hall Show for taking an interest in my and other stories and bringing the bigger conversation to the show. Show aired on May 25th, 2023. Below is the link to the show.

Resources

Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA)

Gina Payne and Bathtisma is a proud supporter and Ally of the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, whose mission is to work to prevent, treat, and cure anxiety disorders and depression. Free resources and opportunities to support the cause are available at https://aada.org

Sad Girls Club

Elyse Fox is the founder of Sad Girls Club. Sad Girls Club is a non profit 501(c)(3) organization committed to destigmatizing mental wellness for millennial and Gen Z womxn, girls, and femmes of color. https://sadgirlsclub.org/

Moms mental health initiative

Casey White is an active member and supporter of Moms Mental Health Initiative founded by Sarah Ornst Bloomquist. Moms Mental Health Initiative is a nonprofit organization dedicated to helping moms navigate perinatal mood and anxiety disorders by sharing information, connecting them to resources and providing peer-driven support. https://momsmentalhealthmke.org